Of all the names I’ve called Roger Goodell since he became commissioner of the NFL, “troll” hasn’t been one of them. But today, Goodell became a full-on “troll.” And I could not be happier about it.
On the internet, a “troll” is somebody who enters a discussion or argument with the express purpose of causing trouble for his or her own delight. When Roger Goodell named himself as the independent arbitrator to the NFLPA and Tom Brady’s appeal of his four-game suspension, it was troll-iest, troll move that was ever trolled. It was a delight.
Goodell had every right to name himself arbitrator under the 2011 collective bargaining agreement between the league and the NFLPA, even though the union asked specifically for the NFL to bring in a neutral party.
As soon as Goodell announced that he would arbitrate the case. the NFLPA asked him to step down, saying they plan to call him as a witness in the case. Goodell, according to ESPN’s Ed Werder will not recuse himself and is “looking forward to hearing Brady’s side of the story.”
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell "very unlikely'' to recuse himself from presiding over Tom Brady appeal, per source
— Ed Werder (@WerderEdESPN) May 15, 2015
The fact is, Goodell had no choice to give Brady and the NFLPA the finger here and what a glorious finger it was. As part of their appeal of Brady’s DeflateGate punishment, the NFLPA stated:
“The CBA grants the Commissioner—and only the Commissioner—the authority to impose conduct detrimental discipline on players. CBA, ..This express CBA mandate is further confirmed by the “law of the shop.” …Indeed,whereas the CBA expressly authorizes the Commissioner to delegate his authority to serve as Hearing Officer over Article 46 appeals, after consultation with the NFLPA, it contains no corresponding provision authorizing the Commissioner to delegate his exclusive role to impose conduct detrimental discipline to you or anyone else. You have no authority to impose discipline on Mr. Brady under the CBA, and such discipline must therefore be set aside.”
So in attacking Goodell for not doling out the punishment, the NFLPA has inadvertently given Goodell no choice but to be the arbitrator at the hearing to make sure Brady goes down.
"You have no authority to impose discipline on Mr. Brady under the CBA" @NFLPA letter to @NFL: http://t.co/7mDtlmnn9J pic.twitter.com/H3rquvbLzP
— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) May 15, 2015
To pretend that Goodell pulled this move on purpose is to give the man the benefit of doubt and acknowledge his ability to see the NFLPA’s strategy before they had even figured it. But this is Roger Goodell we’re talking about and he’s a confirmed moron. This is all just pure, dumb and glorious luck.
What Goodell has done, completely by accident, is make Brady and the NFLPA show their hand. He gave Brady a chance to accept his suspension and come clean, protecting his long-term legacy. Goodell, ever the good lap dog, tried to protect the brand.
Brady couldn’t stand it. He’s the very same pretty-boy narcissist he’s been since he entered the league. He’s the guy who once, after winning three Super Bowls, playing in four, winning two NFL MVPs, being named to two first-team All Pro teams, marrying a super model and making more money that he could spend in a lifetime, openly snot-bubble wept on camera because he had once suffered the indignity of being drafted in the sixth round of the 2000 NFL Draft. Tom Brady is the worst. He is a despicable human being.
With Goodell as the arbitrator, this doesn’t have to be the final ruling. Brady and the NFLPA could sue the NFL in court because Goodell didn’t use an outside arbitrator.
Goodell said he’s looking forward to hearing what Tom Brady has to say and in this case, I believe him. Because Tom Brady didn’t say much in the Wells investigation and refused to turn over his e-mails and cell phone, even if his lawyer got to look over the texts and messages first. Brady, without a legal reason compelling him, won’t surrender them.
But he’ll have to if it goes to court.
Roger Goodell needs to look at the Troy Vincent suspension and quadruple it. Make Brady sit out a year, not only for ordering two underlings to deflate footballs, but for continually obstructing the investigation into the violation. When Brady sues, the NFL should countersue, subpeanaing Brady’s phone records, his e-mails and make him, Jim McNally, John Jastremski, Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick all testify under oath with the real potential of perjury and a possible prison sentence on the line if any of them are caught lying on the stand. Let’s get it all out there. Let’s see if “The Deflator” and “The Needler” are eager to lie for this unkown “Tom” character with the specter of five years in jail dangling out there.
So let’s do this Tom Brady. Let’s go to court.
