in

Fine, Tom Brady. You’re the Best Ever. Bluh

Brady

When it comes to pure New England Patriots hatred, I like to feel I’m a connoisseur. The sheer volume of words I’ve dedicated to it over the years in articles I’m paid to write alone could fill an old-school encyclopedia. (If you’re under 35, ask your parents what that is.) But after an historic comeback and maybe the best second-half performance in Super Bowl history, there are no more hateful words to write. Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the history of the NFL.

Dammit.

Yep, just in case you missed it Those Assholes won Super Bowl LI, coming back from a 28-3 deficit over the final quarter and a half to win 34-28 in overtime. That was also a first overtime in Super Bowl history and Brady, on the way to his fourth Super Bowl MVP trophy, passed for a new Super Bowl record, 466 yards. Surpassing the old record set by Hall of Fame quarterback Kurt Warner in Super Bowl XXXII, 414 yards.

Son of a bitch.

Brady has taken the Patriots to the Super Bowl seven times, four since the team was busted for SpyGate. As much as I think that was the worst scandal in the history of the league, the fact that Brady and head coach Bill Belichick have still managed to go to four more afterwards is a legitimate accomplishment. And when you look at those Spygate Super Bowls, the only one you’d pick the Pats to lose is against the Rams. Maybe without the SpyGate help they don’t even go to the others. But, frankly, would you ever pick a Jake Delhomme-led Carolina Panthers team or a Donovan McNabb puking his way down the field over New England? Yeah. Me neither.

The Patriots should have lost this Super Bowl. They should have lost the one two years ago. But they didn’t. And Tom Brady is the reason why.

Belichick is the greatest NFL head coach of all time, cheater or not, but if you think he gets this teams to the Super Bowl without Brady, you’re nuts. Jimmy Garoppolo doesn’t bring this team back from a 28-3 deficit. No chance in Hell.

On the flipside of any great comeback story, you have an epic choke-job and let’s not mince words. The Atlanta Falcons gagged away what will probably be their only chance of a Super Bowl title in the Matt Ryan era. Just look at the facts. The NFC is just too tough. The Dallas Cowboys, the New York Giants, the Seattle Seahawks, the Green Bay Packers, the Washington Redskins and the Carolina Panthers will likely all be in the mix next year. The Falcons will have to work their way through all of them, all while battling the worst Super Bowl hangover of all time. The worst playoff collapse of all time. This was historic for the Falcons in the worst possible way.

Not only do I think the Falcons won’t make it back to the Super Bowl in the next decade. I don’t even think they’ll make the playoffs next season. All they needed over the last 18 minutes of the game was a single field goal and they win. And they couldn’t do it.

When the Patriots won the coin toss, did you have any doubt they would score a TD? I didn’t. None. I knew it was going to happen. If my life was at stake on a game-winning TD drive and I had my choice of any quarterback in the NFL to lead it, I’d have to pick Brady. That’s how sure I was the Pats were going to win when the coin came up tails.

It’s a frustrating and dark time in the world and the fact that the Patriots legitimately earned ANOTHER Super Bowl title is just one more shitty thing to toss on the pile. You’d hope that this was just the last gasp of the dumpster fire that was 2016, but this entire Patriots team is coming back next season. They’re already the odds-on favorite to win Super Bowl LII, God help us.

And as long as Tom Brady is their quarterback they should be.

Ugh.

To make a wager on any sport, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

Korean Zombie

Next for the Korean Zombie?

ACC: Top Returning Players On Defense