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Somebody Ate Kelvin Benjamin!

Uh. you gonna finish that?

A funny thing happened on the way to the Carolina Panthers’ organized team activities. Kelvin Benjamin entered a Golden Corral and never returned. An all new Benjamin, looking like he’d just had an allergic reaction from an attack by a hive of killer bees, appeared at Panthers workouts Thursday, looking, shall we say, “healthy.”

According to Panthers head coach, the whole issue with Benjamin’s sudden fondness for cupcakes has been “blown out of proportion,” Frankly, the only thing that looks like it’s about to get blown out is the seat of Benjamin’s shorts.

Here’s a look at the man in action. See if you notice anything different.

That may not be a bad route for a receiver eligible tackle, but I have to feel an elite, first round, wideout should probably run that a little faster. When he made the in cut, I wasn’t 100 percent certain he wouldn’t just dig a furrow into the turf and bury himself up to the waist.

Rivera doesn’t seem to see it, telling the Charlotte Observer that Benjamin looks “Outstanding… as you guys can see. He looks great out there.”

I didn’t realize pie eating contests were part of OTAs.

One thing Rivera doesn’t want us to do is hurt Benjamin’s feelings.

“A lot was made out of it that was unfair to be made out of it,”  Rivera said. “Especially in a voluntary situation. But he’s worked very hard. He’s focused in on what he needs to do and he’s done that. Now we as coaches need to stay on him to make sure he’s doing the right things.”

For his part, Benjamin seems just as pissed off at himself. He’s making no excuses and that’s a good thing. Evidently his weight gain is an issue every offseason and he’s able to manage it and get in shape in time for the season. He’s a young man, just 26, and it won’t always be so easy to snap back into shape. Certainly any new contract he signs with Carolina will come with weight related incentives and/or fines.

“I was really kind of disappointed,” Benjamin said. “I wanted to come in and set the bar high for myself and let my teammates know that KB is back this year and he’s ready to roll. I think people saw that first weigh-in and were like, ‘Woah, is he ready to play?’ But we had a good talk. (Rivera and general manager Dave Gettleman) told me what I had to do, and that’s what I’ve been doing… All I can do is take it and use it as motivation to get where they want me to be,” said Benjamin, who plans to get his naturally hulking 6-foot-5 frame down to the 245-pound range. “I’m so used to (the criticism). I don’t worry about it. It won’t affect me. Once camp starts and we start tossing that ball around, people will move on.”

Victor Cruz a Bear

Former New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz agreed to a one-year contract with the Chicago Bears Thursday night and you don’t even have to wonder what he’ll look like in uniform. He posted a solid photoshop effort to his Instagram.

The Bears have completely overhauled their wide receiver unit this offseason, bringing in former Tennessee Titans wideout Kendall Wright, Pittsburgh Steelers’ Markus Wheaton and Cruz’s former Giants teammate, Reuben Randle.

The signing will give Cruz the chance to prove his own personal conspiracy theory, that the New York Giants, in the midst of a playoff run, purposefully didn’t target him on pass plays so it would be easier to cut him.

“Half the year I’m balling and then the other half I’m not getting the ball,” Cruz told a morning radio show. “You’re just like ‘What’s going on?’ I’m like OK. I see what’s happening. They don’t want me here anymore. Because granted, and a lot of people probably don’t know this, but let’s say I play well, I’m a 1,000-yard receiver last year, it would have been more difficult from a fan perspective to cut me. You know, If I’m a 1,000-yard guy they’d be like, well, why are you cutting Cruz? He just had 1,000 yards, five, six touchdowns. That doesn’t make sense. But if I have 500 yards or whatever the case may be, it’s a lot easier for the fans to be like ‘Oh well he didn’t play well, so that’s why they cut him.’ And if I played well, they were due to — they owed me a ton of money that next year so it was like, let’s get Cruz off the books.”

Needless to say, when asked, Giants head coach Ben McAdoo denied a plot to sink Cruz’s New York career.

“There is no accuracy to it,” McAdoo said Thursday.

Chip Kelly is back!

Chip Kelly isn’t one to rest on his laurels and collect cash from his disastrous NFL tenure. He’s ready to screw something else up, this time as an analyst with ESPN 2’s college football slate.

According to ESPN, Kelly will provide analysis on Friday’s edition of Sportscenter and follow that up with an appearance on Sunday’s Sportscenter.

“Over the last 30 years, I have experienced football from one perspective, as a coach,” Kelly said. “Working in television will allow me to see the game from a different angle; simultaneously, I’ll provide viewers an insight to the mindset of a coach and team while offering alternative views of various situations.”

It’s unlikely the deal is for more than one year. Though Kelly’s NFL journey is probably over for good, there should be plenty of interest in his return to the college ranks. He probably had offers on the table this year, just not at schools where he’d want to coach. Some guys are just better built to coach the college game. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Other NFL News

Free agent cornerback Justin Gilbert has been suspended for the first four games of the 2017 season, if he even signs with a team, for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Gilbert was with the Pittsburgh Steelers last season, who acquired him in a trade with the Cleveland Browns. Gilbert is just another classic Browns bust, taken at No. 8 in the first round of the 2014 NFL Draft.

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Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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