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Coach Ineptitude Rankings: NFL Week Six

It’s our weekly check in on coaches that are either on their way out of the NFL or should be. This week, a youngster makes his Ineptitude List debut a mainstay escapes the list entirely. More shocking; Jay Gruden of the Washington Redskins is no longer receiving votes. Cats and dogs living together!

10. John Fox, Chicago Bears

Fox doesn’t so much move down the list as get jumped by coaches doing a poorer job at the helm this season. You could argue that Fox is doing the best with the hand he’s been dealt, but this is his second year with the Bears. He could have discarded a few of these cards in the offseason.

9. Adam Gase, Miami Dolphins

Is Adam Gase the problem? Is Ryan Tannehill the problem? Is a defense that’s making about a billion dollars and playing like its worth about $15.99 with an expired Hardees coupon the problem? It’s hard to tell. Either way, welcome to the list, Gase.

8. Ben McAdoo, New York Giants

The Giants are loaded on offense so there’s just no excuse for McAdoo’s playcalling. The Giants promoted him to head coach to keep the offense rolling, but all its done is score 10 and 16 points in back-to-back weeks.

7. Dirk Koetter, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

That strong opening weekend performance from the Bucs’ offense looks more like an anomoly as the season wears on. Tampa Bay picked up its second win of the season thanks to the generosity of Derek Anderson in the red zone. Now they have a bye to prepare for Chip Kelly’s 49ers led by Colin Kaepernick. Needless to say, things are looking up for the Buccaneers.

6. Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions

The Lions are two fluke fourth-quarter plays away from being 0-5. Like Jeff Fisher, Caldwell has brought his team to play against superior teams this year, but can’t hold on against his fellow shit coaches. That makes this Sunday’s match-up with Fisher a potential universe-ending singularity of suckage.

5. Jeff Fisher, Los Angeles Rams

Speaking of suckage, Jeff Fisher’s lips are chapped and scabbed enough to serve as an apocalyptic landscape in the next Mad Max movie. Fisher said his fake punt calls have “taken the team a long way” last week. Let’s hope this year they take him to the unemployment line. Fisher has now, in consecutive seasons, been outcoached by Rex Ryan, Chip Kelly, Jim Tomsula, Jay Gruden and John Fox. The only man on this list Fisher has beaten is Jim Caldwell and Caldwell should really take that personally.

4. Mike McCoy, San Diego Chargers

There was a moment with the Broncos driving Thursday night, down by eight, where Mike McCoy didn’t even look at the field. The camera found him just staring straight down at the ground, ignoring his team completely, probably having a silent dialogue with himself. Yeah. It’s been that kind of career, Mike.

3. Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans

It’s been a while since I could congratulate Mike Mularkey on a win. Last week’s victory over the Dolphins was Mularkey’s 20th as a head coach, a true milestone. It only took him 62 games to get there.

2. Chip Kelly, San Francisco 49ers

Chip Kelly’s bragging all offseason on Blaine Gabbert’s athleticism and quarterback ability was so much ridiculous hyped-up bullshit you’d think Kelly called it as an offensive play. It’s Colin Kaepernick time now. If there’s a guy that can run Kelly’s gimmick offense, it’s probably him. The problem isn’t how that shit college offense is run. The problem is that no NFL defensive coordinator can be fooled by it anymore.

1. Gus Bradley, Jacksonville Jaguars

The week off didn’t help Bradley’s ranking. It’s safe to say that if the Chargers had lost Thursday night, McCoy would not only be here, but probably have been fired Friday morning. McCoy lives for another week. Will Gus? A match up with John Fox’s Brian Hoyer-led Bears could keep that pink slip at bay.

https://twitter.com/MikeKlis/status/786987090630193153

Receiving votes: Rex Ryan (Buffalo Bills), Marvin Lewis (Cincinnati Bengals), Chuck Pagano (Indianapolis Colts)

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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