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Donald Trump Takes on the NFL and Has Already Lost

Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

This is a tough one, not because I don’t have anything to say about President Donald Trump (Oh God, I think that’s the first time I’ve written those words in that order. Am I supposed to fill a chill in the air when I do? Is that normal?), but because this is a sports site and, even though I throw in a few political gags in my work here every now and then, that’s not why you come here. It’s no secret I hate Trump and think he’s the worst thing to happen to the United States in my lifetime that wasn’t a natural disaster or military/terrorist attack.

So, a little background. While I’m a solidly liberal dude, I’m not a Democrat. I’ve voted for Republicans before and, once the Trump stench is far removed from the party and his current enablers are tossed out on the street, I probably will again. I hated Hillary Clinton long before the Bernie Bros made it cool, yet I still forced myself to vote for her back in 2016 because, well, Donald emm effing Trump. I’m still pissed off that the Democrats nominated the only politician on the planet that Trump could beat in the election. So there’s plenty of blame to go around for the current situation in which we find ourselves.

It seems like every single day there’s something new and stupid happening with Trump and this week, he set his Solar Eclipse-damaged eyes upon the NFL. During a speech at one of Trump’s weird, needy “non-campaign” rallies in Alabama, he said something stupid, then another stupid thing and then, finally, maybe halfway through his stupid speech filled with stupid words, he said this dumb phrase.

“Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he’s fired. He’s fired,” Trump said, his nipples hard enough to cut diamonds. “You know some owner is going to do that. He’s going to say, ‘That guy that disrespects our flag, he’s fired.’ And that owner, they don’t know it, but they’ll be the most popular person in this country.”

Considering that Trump is currently riding an historic level of disapproval in every single poll in America, it’s no surprise that he was wrong about that. Of course, he can’t see those approval ratings. The first wall the piece of shit built was around his brain.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/912664574461120512

Now, here’s the truth and I’m going to go ahead and shut down any bullshit right here. The NFL protests, the sitting, the kneeling, the fist raising are not about disrespecting the flag. They’re not. If you think that, stop. You’re playing pretend. You’re ignoring every single thing every player that does this form of protest is saying. You’re ignoring every tweet, every Facebook post and every interview on the subject. You’re ignoring everything that’s happening in the country right now involving excessive police force in minority communities. They are not protesting the flag. You know that. Stop saying stupid shit. You aren’t Donald Trump. You’re smarter than him. Hell, everyone is smarter than him. Act like it.

Trump’s stupid words vomiting out of his stupid face did something good. It unified the NFL. Every race, creed, religion, player, coach and owner stood up to our Dumb President and told him to shove his thoughts and feelings up his ample ass. Someone will have to help him do that. There’s no way he can reach around that honking dumper with those tiny, sausage fingers.

The league, en masse, took a knee, sat and thumbed their nose at Trump all day Sunday and Monday. Not only has the protest moved beyond police brutality in minority communities, but now it’s about Trump. The NFL, as an organization of 32 individual teams, has told the President of the United States to shut his dumbass fried chicken hole.

It was a beautiful sight to behold, with owners that I guarantee are, to a man, all Republicans, joining their teams either in spirit, in statement or, in the case of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, actually by taking a knee on the field before Monday night’s game.

Trump, safe behind that brain wall, is apparently pleased with himself. At a White House dinner Monday night, he told people his feud with the NFL has, “Really caught on. I said what millions of Americans were thinking.”

“You could tell he was really satisfied,” a source told CNN after the dinner. And I bet he was. The dipshit.

If those “millions of Americans” feel that negatively about the protests, they’re still tuning in. Week Three of this NFL season had a three percent ratings bump from Week Three of last season. Monday night’s game between the Cowboys and Cardinals had a 63 percent ratings bump. Seven of the 10 highest rated broadcasts for last week were NFL Games. Seven. And five of those seven games were the most watched shows on television, period.

And all the news about the ratings being down the first couple of weekends? It probably had a lot more to do with two hurricanes hitting the United States than it did player protests. Considering this week, without, you know, apocalyptic storm surges hitting NFL cities, the ratings were back up should put that issue to bed. Of course, Trump has never let a fact stand in the way of saying something stupid.

Speaking of facts, here’s a fun one. While Trump was busy taking on the NFL and losing in blowout fashion on national television, another Hurricane hit the United States, just not on the mainland. Hurricane Maria rampaged through Puerto Rico, a U.S. territory and potentially our 51st state. The 3.5 million Americans who live there are currently in dire straights and completely without power. Instead of focusing on the NFL, maybe Trump should have put a little focus on saving all those imperiled Americans.

Trump did take a break from calling out the NFL’s players by accusing Puerto Rico of being responsible for its own Hurrican problems from its infrastructure and debt.

Man, what a son of a bitch.

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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