This is it. We made it. The NFL season has mercifully ended for some teams, while others in the middle of the pack are left to kick rocks and ponder what might have been. The Super Bowl is just a month away and our 12 team bracket is upon us. Obviously, those teams will populate the top of the final NFL Power Rankings to some degree, but where do the rest of the teams rank? Take a look.
1. New England Patriots – (14-2) The Patriots took care of business and secured home field with a 35-14 win over the Miami Dolphins Sunday. Now the Pats hold the keys to the Super Bowl against a field that has never once beaten them at Foxboro under Belichik and Brady. So, you know, great. Last week: 1
2. Dallas Cowboys – (13-3) The Cowboys had nothing to play for Sunday, but still got a nice touchdown drive from Tony Romo. I’m sure the Denver Broncos were very excited to see that. Rest up, watch the other playoff games and prepare yourselves. You’re our last line of defense against another Patriots Super Bowl title. Last week: 2
3. Pittsburgh Steelers – (11-5) How do you let a meaningless game against the Cleveland Browns go into overtime? Are you trying to lose your wild card game? Straighten up, Steelers. You and the Chiefs are our only hope to avoid a Patriots return to the Super Bowl here. Last week: 3
4. Atlanta Falcons – (11-5) The Falcons are sitting at the No. 2 seed in the NFC with the week off thanks to a late season collapse from the Seattle Seahawks. Hopefully, for the Falcons’ sake, that collapse continues two more weeks. Last week: 4
5. Kansas City Chiefs – (12-4) Listen, Chiefs. I know you can look like world beaters one week and ass eaters the next, but we need you in this AFC bracket. If it’s not the Steelers, it’s on you to knock out the Patriots. You’ve proven you can beat them before. Just do it in January. Last week: 6
6. New York Giants – (11-5) I’m still not sure what Giants team we’re going to see in the NFL playoffs, but everybody should be scared shitless until a team knocks them out. Last week: 7
7. Green Bay Packers – (10-6) Everyone is jumping on the Packers’ bandwagon here in the playoffs. Green Bay is the most popular bet to win it all on the planet right now from the huddled, unwashed masses. I’d love to join you, but they have to prove they can beat the Giants at home first. They haven’t in two playoff tries. Last week: 10
8. Seattle Seahawks – (10-5-1) Can this Seahawks team make a real run? It doesn’t look like it to me and the fact they’ve had real battles against shitty teams here over the last couple of weeks of the season. But if any team can get hot when the lights are on, it’s Seattle. Last week: 8
9. Miami Dolphins – (10-6) Finishing the season 2-1 with Matt Moore at quarterback should be enough to push Adam Gase near the top of the Coach of the Year rankings alone. Sure, the season probably ends in Pittsburgh, but just getting there after an abysmal start is a feat in itself. Last week: 9
10. Detroit Lions – (9-7) Thanks to a Washington Redskins bed-shitting, the Lions get the honor of being bounced from the playoffs in the wild card game for the second time of the Jim Caldwell era. Kudos. Last week: 11
11. Houston Texans – (9-7) A complete ass-kicking loss to the Tennessee Titans playing their back up quarterback a week before the playoffs doesn’t bode well for a lengthy January work schedule, Texans. Last week: 13
12. Oakland Raiders – (12-4) Frankly, Matt McGloin not getting the nod Sunday is a Godsend. The Raiders’ only chance is if Connor Cook can channel some of his Michigan State magic in this game. McGloin would have just been assaulted by Jadaveon Clowney and Whitney Mercillus all day to the point a crying, shower breakdown. Nobody wants to see that. Last week: 3
To see Part Two of the Final 2017 NFL Power Rankings, click here.
To make a wager on this week’s NFL games, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.
