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Friday Afternoon Quarterback: NFL Week 8 Spread Picks and Locks

Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

I took no solace in correctly picking the Houston Texans to win their fifth game in a row Thursday night. Sure, I opened the week 1-0 both straight up and against the spread, but it’s with a heavy heart. If the Texans keep winning against the outright garbage teams on their schedule, Bill O’Brien will defy the gods and once again keep his job. It’s to combat this kind of travesty for which I created the Friday Afternoon Quarterback in the first place.

The game did give us one one gift, the wildest pass completion to … well, whatever, we might ever see. Take a look.

There’s no way to top that, so onto the Friday Afternoon Quarterback spread picks and locks for NFL Week 8.

Byes: Atlanta Falcons, Dallas Cowboys, Tennessee Titans, Los Angeles Chargers

Sunday

Philadelphia Eagles at Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5, O/U: 43) in London

Funny that no one seems to care much what Jalen Ramsey says about anything now. Eagles 27, Jaguars 16

Related: NFL Betting Guide

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8, O/U: 48.5)

The last time these two teams played the game ended in a tie, which, as the old saying goes, is like kissing your sister. If the Steelers and Browns end this one knotted up again, that sister should get a restraining order. Steelers 31, Browns 20

Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs (-9.5, O/U: 53.5)

A month ago I picked the Broncos to upset the Chiefs in Mile High. They lost by four. I haven’t picked them since. Chiefs 38, Broncos 20

Seattle Seahawks at Detroit Lions (-3, O/U: 49)

Russell Wilson and the Seahawks have had two weeks to prepare for this game and are 6-1 coming off the bye since his second year in the league. Seahawks 27, Lions 24

Baltimore Ravens at Carolina Panthers (+2.5, O/U: 44)

That is a far too friendly line for a Ravens team that hasn’t put consecutive weeks together yet and a Panthers team that just pulled off an epic, season-defining comeback. Panthers 23, Ravens 20

New York Jets at Chicago Bears (-8, O/U: 45)

Khalil Mack has three total tackles and no sacks over the last two weeks. Last week, he was used more in pass defense than in the pass rush. It’s like Jon Gruden is still his coach. Bears 27, Jets 20

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Cincinnati Bengals (-3.5, O/U: 54.5)

After flirting with legitimate contention in September, the Bengals have joined me in The FAQ for a disastrous October. Let’s you and me right the ship this week, eh Cincy? Bengals 31, Buccaneers 27

Washington Redskins at New York Giants (PK, O/U: 42.5)

The Giants mystery only deepens, but it can’t be a good sign when you trade your best corner and best defensive tackle for scraps. Redskins 33, Giants 26

Indianapolis Colts at Oakland Raiders (+3, O/U: 50.5)

The story out of Oakland this week is that Jon Gruden has lost the locker room. The big surprise there is that there’s still a locker room after he’s traded away half the team. Colts 30, Raiders 24

Green Bay Packers at Los Angeles Rams (-9, O/U: 56.5)

This line has moved down half a point since it opened, showing that people have plenty of faith in Aaron Rodgers … keeping the game under 10 points. Rams 34, Packers 27

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (+1.5, O/U: 42)

Last week, NBC flexed out of a 49ers game in primetime. This week, I’d bet FOX would like to flex this game to Telemundo. Cardinals 20, 49ers 19

Sunday Night

New Orleans Saints at Minnesota Vikings (PK, O/U: 52)

No danger of this one getting flexed, though we are in danger of seeing Kirk Cousins embarrass himself, his children and his children’s children in the end zone once again. Vikings 38, Saints 35

Monday Night

New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills (+14, O/U: 44)

I’m wary of big spreads, but the idea that the Bills could even stay within sniffing distance in primetime against the Patriots with Derek Anderson at quarterback is just ridiculous. Not only that, but LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory might not play. How is the over 44? I don’t see how they hit it unless the Patriots score 38 themselves. Patriots 27, Bills 6

This week

Straight up: 1-0

Against the spread: 1-0

Last week

Straight up: 6-8

Against the spread: 7-7

Season

Straight up: 55-50-2

Against the spread: 50-57

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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