Here it is, the day before Christmas Eve and former Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher gives everyone that hates him an early present. That’s awful nice of him.
Fisher popped out from under a rock in Montana this week to let it be known that he would like another shot at coaching an NFL franchise. He stirred that up in an interview with a Fisher-friendly Nashville radio station Friday when he, legitimately, tried to take part of the credit for the Rams 2017 turnaround.
“I’m a huge fan of the Ram players,” Fisher told the station. “They’re basically, I don’t want to say my players, but I had a lot to do with that roster. Left them in pretty good shape. And Sean (McVay), as he’s proven in this very short period of time, is an outstanding young coach. And he’s got the offense rolling, which they needed.”
Jeff Fisher set the #Rams up for success much like the bubonic plague improved the quality of life for the generation that survived.
— Mike Tanier (@MikeTanier) December 23, 2017
Now, if your face melted after reading that, you’re not alone. We’ll break that statement down in a minute, don’t you worry, but first let’s look at the teams Fisher has put his feelers out to that will likely be making coaching changes this off-season, specifically the Cleveland Browns, Indianapolis Colts and Chicago Bears.
Fisher is apparently contacting his loser friends, most of whom are out of work too, to get a staff proposal together for whenever the trigger finally gets pulled on John Fox, Chuck Pagano or Hue Jackson. If you are a fan of any of these teams, this is an elfing nightmare scenario.
The prospect of these coaches getting fired is likely the only thing getting these fanbases through the holiday season. Fisher showing up to take over is like expecting Santa Claus to slide down the chimney with his bag of toys on Christmas Eve and instead it’s Krampus with a giant, three-pronged, anal speculum.
NFL owners when they hear Jeff Fisher wants to coach in 2018… pic.twitter.com/PbDACYqpuc
— Michael Hauff (@TheFFRealist) December 20, 2017
Fisher is currently tied with former Denver Broncos and Atlanta Falcons head coach Dan Reeves with the most head coaching losses in NFL history (165). Fisher accomplished this feat in spite of coaching in 18 fewer games than Reeves. Reeves, of course, was 11-9 in the playoffs and took four teams to the Super Bowl. Now, Reeves did lose all four Super Bowls but he was absolutely over-matched each time. The truth is, it was a coaching feat to get all four of those squads (three with the Broncos, one with the Falcons) conference championships at all.
In fairness to Fisher, his teams, out of 22 years, did make the playoffs six times and one Super Bowl, which they lost. In fairness to the rest of us, the only reason Fisher doesn’t hold the NFL record for coaching losses all on his own is that the Rams fired him with three games to go last year. Fisher, of course, has an excuse for his historically shitty coaching record.
“I get a kick out of people who (say), ‘Oh, you just tied Dan Reeves for the most losses in the history of the National Football League,'” Fisher said. “Well I’m a few wins away from being in the top 10. So, where do you want to emphasize; what’s your point? Two franchises, five different cities, six different stadiums. Not an easy thing to do.”
Jeff Fisher says he left the Rams in "good shape." pic.twitter.com/wrfA3dfIdw
— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) December 23, 2017
A “few” he said. He’s exactly 13 wins away from being in the Top 10. He would need to coach two more years to get that far and, by that time, would have set the losing bar so high that no one else could touch it. His total number of wins has a hell of a lot more to do with his ability (especially at Tennessee) to stumble into a winning season right as he was in danger of getting fired. He was never so lucky with the Rams. Also, of all the coaches in the Top 20, he has the lowest winning percentage by a wide margin (.512).
Stats aside, Fisher obviously doesn’t pass any eyeball test for sane people in hopes of finding a new head football coach. The very idea that Fisher could be considered for the open UCLA job nearly spurred a Tennessee Volunteer-like fan revolt. And it was just a rumor. Probably started by Fisher.
If this rumor is true of UCLA thinking of hiring Jeff Fisher, I believe the Bruin faithful would revolt. Defense might be better, but no QB would ever sign with the Bruins. https://t.co/X7BBxWq1j6
— Scott Koral (@sdkoral) November 20, 2017
Make no mistake, any NFL franchise that would seriously think about bringing Fisher and his staff of stooges (including his shitty son), would face a similar problem. The idea that Fisher even thinks he deserves another shot is a joke.
Back to Fisher’s statement saying he “had a lot to do with that roster.” First off, he’s right. Of the Rams’ 22 offensive and defensive starters, 12 were either drafted or signed under Fisher. 15 out of 25 if you count special teamers Johnny Hekker, Greg Zuerlein and Pharoh Cooper. He can’t take any credit for Robert Quinn or Roger Saffold. They were there when he was hired.
We need to refer to this Browns/ Bears game as the Jeff Fisher Bowl.
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) December 19, 2017
Here’s the problem with Fisher taking credit for the Rams’ roster, he did exactly the opposite when the team shitcaned him last December in, what was then, a Christmas miracle. At the time Fisher, tried to act like he didn’t have final say on the players. He was immediately mocked for that too.
Fisher still wants to pretend drafting Jared Goff was his idea and, hell, maybe it was. It’s possible he was preparing a preemptive excuse for sucking it up in 2016 with a rookie quarterback. The reports at the time were that the trade came from above Fisher’s head and it was forced on him. We’ll probably never know the truth.
Either way, the Fish-man wants to take credit for Goff’s meteoric rise this season too.
“We knew that was coming,” Fisher said. “…That’s why we traded up with you guys here (the Titans) to get him, because we knew he had that kind of potential. We felt like both the quarterbacks had a chance to be franchise quarterbacks. We were right. Philly got theirs (with Carson Wentz) and the Rams got theirs.”
https://twitter.com/bykevinclark/status/943943819854336000
Fisher says all this, I’m sure, with that self-satisfied grin as the smell of his own farts, trapped in his mustache, tickle at his olfactory nerve. He thinks he’s made a point. It’s checkmate in Jeff Fisher’s mind. Look at how good the Rams are now. I did that, he thinks.
Does anybody, and I mean anybody outside of Fisher’s Montana man cave, believe the Rams would be 10-4 right now if he was still the head coach?
To be continued…
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