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Jeff Fisher Speaks, Whines, Makes Excuses

Jeff Fisher is the worst.

It’s been over a week since former Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher stuck his head out in public to tell his side of his epic, oh-so-deserved firing to Fox Sports’ Charissa Thompson. I’ve just been too busy to address it, but in the words of Larry Wilmore….

Fox Sports produced a beautiful little piece here, with a nice music soundtrack and directing, all to honor the losingest head coach in NFL history. And, yes, I (of all people), know he’s currently tied with 165 losses with former Denver Broncos and Atlanta Falcons head coach Dan Reeves. But, trust me, Fisher is still the far bigger loser.

In case you missed it, here it is.

There are many laugh out loud moments in the interview, the first being Fisher expressing how shocked he was that Rams Vice President Kevin Demoff fired him that lovely Monday morning that will forever be a family holiday in my house.

“No idea, no,” Fisher said. “I had just recently signed an extension and knew things were getting tough. I didn’t anticipate this.”

Well, as a member of the countless media members who called for Fisher’s firing almost daily, I can tell you that I did, in fact, anticipate this. Fisher’s own despicable ego is the only reason he didn’t. He legitimately thinks he deserves to coach again. Not only that, he feels wronged that he was fired this season, his fifth straight losing season with the Rams. There’s only so much shit-eating hubris a man should be able stew in. Yet Fisher proved, time and again, there was no rock bottom he couldn’t burst through to find another level below.

Then, the next ridiculous thing that comes out of his mustache is this phrase, “It was never my place to announce the extension,” knowing full well he’s the son of a bitch that leaked it. “It somehow got out,” he says.

And then, the famous Fisher blame game commences where he tries to throw other people under the bus not only for leaking his contract (which he or his agent undoubtedly did), but also all the problems Fisher was having with General Manager Les Snead.

“In this day and age the successful teams in the National Football League are tight-knit and they work together,” Fisher said. “And they stay quiet and they don’t leak things. And that was a frustration of mine.”

They key word Fisher doesn’t consider there is “successful,” you know, winners. Something Fisher has never been.

Fisher still claims that Eric Dickerson didn’t tell him to kick rocks during their conversation. The conversation that Fisher admits happened and, not only that, admitted to denying Dickerson press credentials for criticizing his shitty coaching and his shitty coaching staff. He basically calls Eric Dickerson a liar.

He also denies that he was forced to draft Jared Goff, when he unquestionably was.  It’s why he refused to let Goff play until it was far too late. It’s common knowledge that Fisher wanted the picks and thought he could win with Case Keenum. It’s why he played Keenum so long this season. Hubris. Ego. He wanted to show Snead and owner Stan Kroenke that he was right. It didn’t work out.

And, finally, you get this little nugget when Thompson asks him ” Jeff Fisher was fired because….”

“He didn’t win enough games and the organization has a much bigger picture,” Fisher said. “And I don’t think I was ever part of seeing that new stadium.”

Aw, poor Jeff. I guarantee he did. If he’d won this season, he would have trotted into that new stadium on a cloud of his own farts.

Lastly, the interview ends with the most comical line of the whole piece. When Thompson asks him his dream scenario, Fisher says, “I want to play the Rams.”

Good God. See? He really thinks this wasn’t his fault. He wants revenge and, not only that, he legitimately thinks he should be allowed to coach in the NFL again. Hilarious.

After they replayed the segment of Fox NFL Sunday, Jimmy Johnson wrapped up Jeff Fisher’s career succinctly.

“I’m amazed that he lasted this long, 16 non winning seasons in 22 years,” Johnson said. “And make no mistake about it, he had total control of the Rams. The Rams weren’t an expansion team. He had a ton of picks in this RG3 trade and had five losing seasons. And on top of that, they gave up a ton of picks for the No. 1 pick Jared Goff, and if he’s not the guy they’ve still got a long way to go.”

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Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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