Hey, none of us wanted this to happen and yet, here we are. Much like the Zika virus and the Trump administration, we’re going to have to find a way to deal with the New England Patriots going to the Super Bowl. Again.
They’ll face off against the Atlanta Falcons, who absolutely dominated the seemingly anointed Green Bay Packers Sunday afternoon.
So here’s what we’re looking at as of today…
New England at Atlanta (+3, 59 O/U)
It’s an interesting spread. If you took away the history and just looked at the playoff games and records, I think the Falcons would probably be the favorite. But you can’t take away the history, not with Those Assholes involved.
Good googly moogly. Patriots favored by 3! I love the Falcons plus 3! #GetYoMoneyHoney
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 23, 2017
The game is set for a 6:30 p.m. kick off at NRG Stadium in Houston on Feb. 5.
Patriots 36, Steelers 17
I picked the upset here in the The FAQ and discovered pretty early on I’d made a mistake. Every word written defending Mike Tomlin after Terry Bradshaw called him a “cheerleader,” a few of them by me, will be now stricken from the record. The Steelers were out-prepared and out-coached in that game from the opening kick off, playing a defense that Tom Brady has routinely carved up with no effort or inclination to add even a slightly new wrinkle to trip him up.
I'm so frustrated by the terrible coaching by @steelers. Rushing three and playing zone was a miserable idea. You have to rattle Brady.
— Cenk Uygur (@cenkuygur) January 23, 2017
And at what point did the Steelers decide Chris Hogan wasn’t going to be the guy that beat them? Because, you know, the opening drive should have told defensive coordinator Keith Butler that plan could be scrapped.
On offense, Todd Haley wasn’t much better. Calling plays run right at the strength of New England’s defensive line instead spreading them out and attacking through the air from the start. It was a pathetic display that prompted my friend Michael Keaton (not THAT Michael Keaton) to post that the Steelers coaches should donate their AFC Championship game checks to charity since they didn’t earn them.
Antonio Brown left Steelers lockerroom, declining to talk. Maybe he felt he said enough in lockerroom a week earlier
— Ed Bouchette (@EdBouchette) January 23, 2017
As it is, Mike Tomlin can stop whining about what Terry Bradshaw thinks. The man obviously knows what he’s talking about and this game, from the first whistle, proved that. Frankly, calling Tomlin a “cheerleader” might be generous after Sunday’s bed-shitting performance. Even a cheerleader could have seen Chris Hogan was eating his defense alive after the first five minutes of the game.
Falcons 44, Packers 21
So much for “destiny,” eh? The Falcons showed not only the blueprint for beating a red-hot Aaron Rodgers, they crafted one that should beat any team. They controlled the ball, they didn’t make mistakes, they stayed methodical and didn’t force anything and they scored. My God did they score. The Falcons scored like Leonardo DiCaprio at New York’s Fashion Week.
A quick recap of how Matt Ryan's day went vs the Packers pic.twitter.com/pTk3hdihmE
— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) January 23, 2017
Offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan will now have two weeks to prepare his team to face Bill Belichick and Matt Patricia’s defense. Dan Quinn has already matched wits with Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels before and would have won if not for the dumbest offensive playcall in Super Bowl history.
For the Packers, the loss shows you how far you can go when you have to depend on a lights-out performance from your quarterback in every game. And Rodgers can deliver it, but when he shows up and is just good, not incredible, the Packers can get blown out. This team has some real work to do and, frankly upgrading a coach or two, especially on defense wouldn’t hurt.
Matt Ryan's performance yesterday vs the Packers was historic. pic.twitter.com/byKeCh2d5V
— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) January 23, 2017
The window for Green Bay to get back to the Super Bowl gets narrower every season. It’s time to add some real star power, especially on the defensive side of the ball. They need defensive backs and more of a pass rush and need to scour the draft and free agency to put those two groups together.
Notes
The Falcons at one point in the preseason faced 100-1 odds in some sportsbooks to win the Super Bowl. Atlanta’s best odds offered were 40-1, which is still a monster ticket if you’re holding it.
One sportsbook, CG Technology, actually took more bets on the Cleveland Browns to win Super Bowl LI than the Falcons in the offseason.
This will be the Falcons’ second appearance in the Super Bowl. It will be the Patriots’ ninth and Tom Brady’s seventh.
To make a wager on Super Bowl LI, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.
