To see Part 1 of the Week 11 NFL Power Rankings click here.
14. Miami Dolphins – (5-4) The Dolphins have stretch their win streak to four in a row and now get to play the Rams, with Jared Goff making his first NFL start, to make it six. It’s a good time to be Adam Gase. Last week: 22
15. Washington Redskins – (5-3-1) I’m not sure if I’ve actually figured this Redskins team out, or just gotten lucky with my picks. Either way, here’s my theory. This is a decent team that plays like shit half the time. They’ll do well enough to just miss the playoffs. Last week: 21
16. Detroit Lions – (5-4) Don’t look now, but the Detroit Lions are leading the NFC North and if the playoffs started today would host a game on opening weekend. And you thought Hell froze over last Tuesday. Last week: 23
17. Minnesota Vikings – (5-4) The Vikings are in a full-on freefall. Four consecutive losses and no end in sight as this team is suddenly impossible to handicap. They should get right against the Cardinals, but will they? Last week: 9
18. Buffalo Bills – (4-5) We’ve reached the Dwight Schrute section of the NFL rankings. This is where, all season, you’ve seen the Bills, Baltimore, Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica. And now you can add Bengals to that list. Cousin Mose wept. Last week: 15
19. Baltimore Ravens – (5-4) Speaking of the Ravens, they”re another win from escaping the bottom half of the rankings. Who do they have on their schedule this week? Oh, the Cowboys. Well, Baltimore. The bottom half is fine, really. Last week: 20
20. Cincinnati Bengals – (3-5-1) The Bengals face a must win game Sunday when they host the Bills. Problem is, it’s a must-win for Buffalo too. Last week: 16
21. Carolina Panthers – (3-6) This Panthers team just continues to find new and exciting ways to lose NFL games. Maybe you want to hit the pause button and just sim the rest of the season, men. Last week: 17
22. New Orleans Saints – (4-5) Of all the ways to break a win streak, having an extra point returned for a safety with no time left in the game has to be the absolute shittiest in history. Last week: 18
23. Indianapolis Colts – (4-5) If string theory is correct there’s another universe out there in the mutliverse just like ours, only a little different. Maybe there, eons away, their Colts can actually win two games in a row. Last week: 19
24. Tennessee Titans – (5-5) Mike Mularkey welcomed the Packers into Nashville and thoroughly outcoached Mike McCarthy. Fun fact: All five of the Titans’ wins this season are over teams whose coaches have all appeared with Mularkey on my weekly Coach Ineptitude List. Hmmm. Last week: 26
25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (4-5) Speaking of the CIR, Dirk Koetter. A few more performances like last week and the Bucs will not only finish around .500, but you’ll be heading off the list yourself. Last week: 27
26. Los Angeles Rams – (4-5) Enjoy the smell of your own farts for two more weeks, Jeff Fisher. Your time is coming. Last week: 30
27. San Diego Chargers – (4-6) Mike McCoy continues to do just enough to save his job, but not enough to save the team from moving out of San Diego. On election day the city voted against the Chargers’ stadium proposal. Last week: 25
28. New York Jets – (3-7) You had one job, Jets. Defeat an undisciplined, underprepared Jeff Fisher team and you couldn’t do it. Shame on you. Shame on all of you. Take this drop in the rankings as your punishment. I like Bryce Petty, though Stick with him. Last week: 24
29. Chicago Bears – (2-7) The love affair with the new Jay Cutler didn’t last very long, did it? Last week: 28
30. Jacksonville Jaguars – (2-7) Gus Bradley, you continue to defy the odds, all sense and seemingly God’s will in keeping this job. What kind of dirt do you have on Shad Khan? Last week: 29
31. San Francisco 49ers – (1-8) The 49ers are so bad nobody even notices what Colin Kapernick does during the Star Spangled Banner anymore. I heard he’s doing a Downward Facing Dog yoga pose. You didn’t watch the game. You don’t know. Last week: 31
32. Cleveland Browns – (0-10) Seriously, Browns. What the hell? This is getting serious and Hue Jackson, you’re shitty gimmick playcalling just makes it worse. Last week: 32
