It might be time for Jacksonville Jaguars running back Denard Robinson and Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Louis Murphy to go in for a sleep study. Maybe look into laying off the warm milk and turkey dinners. Both men found themselves in crazy situations this week thanks to an early visit from the Sandman. Robinson, in particular, is lucky he didn’t Rip Van Winkle himself right onto a coroner’s slab.
Robinson and his passenger, both asleep, were found in his car sinking into a pond in Florida Sunday morning. Robinson wasn’t drunk or on any drug, he was just out cold, counting sheep that were, presumably, wearing swimsuits.
Officers arrived at the scene around 4:30 and tried to get Robinson’s attention by banging on his window. According to the police report, he woke up for a second, looked at them, then went right back to sleep. His girlfriend, Melissa Staples, did wake up enough to roll down her window and ask the cops, honest to God, “What’s up?”
“I explained that their vehicle was in a pond and that they needed to exit the vehicle,” the police officer, one Frank Camacho, wrote in his report.
Staples was so out of of it she didn’t believe the cop either and rolled the window back up. He eventually had to open the door and pull her out. Robinson just sawed logs through this entire process.
“I had to tell the driver multiple times his car was in a pond and was sinking so he needed to hurry up and get out,” Camacho said in his report.
Camacho ran a screening on Robinson after he did get him out and concluded that he wasn’t drunk or impaired. Robinson had just fallen asleep behind the wheel and ran off the road and into the pond. Luckily for him and his girlfriend the cops found them when they did.
— Denard Robinson (@DenardX) July 5, 2016
Ray Romano used to have a good bit about falling asleep while driving. Here he is doing it on Dr. Katz in cartoon form.
Murphy’s sleep problem was a lot less dangerous and way more Disney adventure movie. The 29-year-old wideout was attending a friend’s wedding at Flagler Museum in Palm Beach, Fla. when he fell asleep and got locked inside for the night.
Murphy had partaken of a little too much alcohol at the wedding and took a nap in the museum’s courtyard. When he woke up, he was alone and trapped.
Murphy ended up breaking a glass window at the museum trying to escape before calling a friend and then the the cops who came and rescued him. He wasn’t charged with anything but does have to pay to get the window fixed.
“This was really just a series of small unfortunate circumstances,” Murphy told CBS Sports. “With no one around, my only option was to break a small glass pane of the door in order to access a phone and call for help. I dialed the police and explained that I needed assistance. It’s unfortunate that I needed to break the glass, but the police officers on the scene and museum staff acknowledged that I didn’t have many other options. I’m working with the museum to ensure everything is properly handled.”
Robinson is entering his fourth season in the NFL. Last year he carried the ball 67 times for the Jaguars for 266 yards and a touchdown. Murphy played in six games for the Bucs, catching 10 passes for 198 yards.
Russell Wilson risks more rap songs from Future
He’s been whined at over the radio airwaves and threatened with a drive by, but none of that could keep Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson from making an honest woman out of Ciara.
Wednesday at a castle in London Wilson and Ciara got hitched and shared the news on their social media accounts.
Wilson publicly stated that he and Ciara were waiting until they got married to have sex, so I’m sure he’s pretty busy right now and will not be reading this.
Less thrilled at the coupling is Ciara’s former fiance and the father of her son, rapper Future, who recently threatened Wilson in a rap song. So getting married in England was probably a smart move.
