A good half the country is still in a daze today while the other half is buried under a mountain of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans and Little Debbie wrappers. It’s an odd time to be focused on football and picks, but that’s the great thing about sports. It brings us together. We can root for the same NFL team regardless of whatever demographic we fit into and whatever vote we cast Tuesday. Some of us, frankly, welcome the distraction. As I have over the last few weeks, let’s start things off with a song to get us fired up.
OK, this is going to be more difficult than I thought.
Byes: Bills, Lions, Colts and Raiders
Sunday Early Games
Green Bay at Tennessee (+2.5)
Mike Mularkey of the Titans (4-5) is one of the few people Mike McCarthy of the Packers (4-4) can outcoach. I write that and watch McCarthy call a speed-option for Aaron Rogers in this game to one-up Mularkey’s call against the Chargers last week. Morons. Packers 28, Titans 20
Minnesota at Washington (-2.5)
The Vikings (5-3) turned out to be the Hillary Clinton of this NFL season. Everyone though they had the NFC in the bag then the leaves turned. The Redskins (4-3-1) can’t afford to stumble this late in the season with the Cowboys and Giants running away with the division and the wild card. Am I really picking Jay Gruden over Mike Zimmer? God help me. Redskins 27, Vikings 17
Chicago at Tampa Bay (+1)
Jay Cutler looked like he was actually worth the money the Bears (2-6) invested in him last week. For the Bucs (3-5), Jameis Winston has shrugged off any accusations of a sophomore slump and now just has to score 50 points every game to make up for one of the worst defenses in the league. Bears 34, Bucs 30
Kansas City at Carolina (-3)
The Panthers (3-6) have strung together two straight wins while the Chiefs (6-2) have won four straight and are tied for the lead in the AFC West. They won’t be tied after Sunday. Panthers 24, Chiefs 20
Atlanta at Philadelphia (+2)
The Falcons (6-3) have the hottest offense in the NFL. The Eagles (4-4) have stumbled a bit after a quick start with rookie quarterback Carson Wentz. Wentz is still playing well, but this Philly team is just overmatched on most Sundays talent-wise thanks to their flirtation with the Chip Kelly experience. Falcons 34, Eagles 24
Los Angeles at New York Jets (-1.5)
Here we are at game two of Jeff Fisher’s final four-game odyssey with the Rams (3-5). The Jets (3-6) seem to find a new way to lose every single week, but nothing fixes what ails ya than a visit from ole Doc Fisher. Jets 34, Rams 13
Denver at New Orleans (-3)
I’m not sure what the Broncos (6-3) expect from Trevor Siemian week-to-week. It’s like thinking Case Keenum is an NFL starter. If you have to roll with him, fine, but if you make the choice to put him in there, you’re going to have to take the good (an occasional nice deep throw) with the bad (missing wide open guys on third down). The Saints (4-4), obviously, don’t have a quarterback problem at all. Saints 27, Broncos 20
Houston at Jacksonville (-2)
Really sportsbooks? You’ve got the Jaguars (2-6) at minus-two? In what universe does that make sense? Yes, I realize the Texans (5-3) are the worst winning team in the NFL and Bill O’Brien is a shit coach, but Gus Bradley, for God’s sake. Come on. Texans 24, Jaguars 20
Sunday Late Games
Miami at San Diego (-4)
While the Jags don’t deserve the sportsbook love, the Chargers (4-5) do. They’ve flipped their season and continue to do just enough to keep Mike McCoy employed. The Dolphins (4-4) have flipped their season as well, but I’m feeling Philip Rivers right now. He may will this team to nine wins yet. Chargers 27, Dolphins 24
Dallas at Pittsburgh (-2.5)
A less emotional being would look at this match up an pick the Steelers (4-4). It’s a game they really need to win, it’s at home and Ben Reothlisberger has already put his annual shitty comeback game behind him. But I’ve ridden Dak Prescott and the Cowboys (7-1) all season and I’m not going to stop now. Cowboys 30, Steelers 27
San Francisco at Arizona (-13.5)
In all of NFL Expert-dom, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a game where everyone of us, across all ages, demographics and organizations, have picked the same team, but that’s what happening here. The Cardinals (3-4-1) have disappointed everyone but me in their first-half performance. The 49ers (1-7) were expected to be a pile of shit and have played worse than that. Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
Sunday Night
Seattle at New England (-7.5)
While that Cards-49ers line is outrageously large, this line is outrageously insulting to the Seahawks (5-2-1). This is mostly the same team that should have beaten the Patriots (7-1) in the Super Bowl a couple of years ago. That minus-7.5 should be seen as a smack in the face. One that Cliff Avril wants to deliver right back to Tom Brady. Seahawks 27, Patriots 24
Monday Night
Cincinnati at New York Giants (EVEN)
For maybe the first time this season Jon Gruden can actually get excited for a MNF game. The Bengals (3-4-1) are a good team that has underperformed all season. The Giants (5-3) just now look like the team I expected them to be in the preseason. Giants 31, Bengals 30
This Week
Straight up: 1-0
Against the spread: 1-0
Last Week
Straight up: 11-2
Against the spread: 10-3
Season
Straight up: 77-57-2
Against the spread: 67-65
