Click here for Part 1 of the NFL Week Eight Power Rankings.
15. Washington Redskins – (4-3) Are the Redskins a good, bad team or a bad, good team. There’s a difference. A good, bad team can sneak up on a better opponent, can make the breaks and sneak into some solid wins. A bad, good team is one that has all the pieces in place, but has no idea how to use them. Last week: 12
16. Cincinnati Bengals – (3-4) Speaking of your bad, good teams, the Bengals have a real chance to get back into the mix by knocking the Redskins out of it Sunday in London, because the UK deserves at least one meaningful game in this redcurrant farce. Last week: 18
16. Houston Texans – (4-3) So many people are down on Brock Owseiler this season, but I really don’t think he’s the problem. He’s not calling or designing the plays. Bill O’Brien is. Last week: 15
17. Carolina Panthers – (1-5) You know, I’ve picked the Panthers to win every week, thinking they would turn around their season and every week they’ve come up short. Which is why you’ll think I’m crazy when I pick them to win over the Cardinals this week. But that’s just what the government wants you to think. Last week: 19
18. Indianapolis Colts – (3-4) You’ve got a bad couple of weeks on the horizon with the Chiefs, then Packers on the schedule. After that it’s the Titans and you can take out your frustrations on them. Last week: 20
20. New Orleans Saints – (2-4) The Saints are a great representative of the good, bad team. They show up every week, score a lot of points, scare everybody, but ultimately will be lucky to end the season at .500. Last week: 21
21. Baltimore Ravens – (3-4) I guess the whole firing your offensive coordinator at the beginning of the season isn’t bringing the same mojo, eh Ravens? Last week: 17
22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (3-3) Look at the Bucs here, sitting at .500 six games into the season. It’s adorable. Like they think they’re people. Last week: 22
23. New York Jets – (2-5) The Geno Smith era ended before he could even throw his second interception of the season. And considering he played practically two quarters, this was setting up as a career year for him. Last week: 23
24. Miami Dolphins – (3-4) Miami wins two in a row right before their bye and suddenly don’t seem so bad anymore. The Dolphins’ next five games are against the Jets, the Chargers, the Rams, the 49ers and the Ravens so the possibility of a seven-game win streak is sitting right there for the taking. Last week: 28
25. Detroit Lions – (4-3) Jim Caldwell outcoached Jeff Fisheer and Jay Gruden in successive weeks. Now he’s taking his team to Houston to take on Bill O’Brien. Could Caldwell be our best shitty coach? Last week: 26
26. San Diego Chargers – (3-4) Mike McCoy was in danger of getting fired just two weeks ago, completely screwing up my preseason prediction that he would get fired, just not be the first coach fired. I’m not sure the Broncos will help me out this week. Last week: 30
27. Jacksonville Jaguars – (2-4) Gus Bradley vs Mike Mulareky to open the week on Thursday Night Football. Can we call this the Toilet Bowl or is that name taken for when Alabama plays Auburn. I don’t remember. Last week: 24
28. Tennessee Titans – (3-4) Mularkey and Bradley are, unquestionably, the worst two coaches of the modern era with a combined record of 35-83. So this game is the battle for No. 2. Fitting for the Toilet Bowl. Last week: 25
29. Chicago Bears – (1-6) When asked if John Fox has confidence in him, quarterback Jay Cutler said, “He doesn’t have a choice, I guess, at this point. Brian is out do I’ve got to go.” Not exactly a glass half-full answer. Last week: 29
30. Los Angeles Rams – (3-4) Rumor has it if Jeff Fisher loses his next four games he’ll be fired before the end of the season. With a full bye week to prepare for that stretch, I have no doubt that Fisher can pull it off. Losing all four games, I mean. Last week: 27
31. San Francisco 49ers – (1-6) You’ve got a bye week to figure out who you’ll start at quarterback in your gimmick, worthless offense, Chip Kelly. I hear Michael Vick is still out there and in game shape. Last week: 31
32. Cleveland Browns – (0-7) If 0-16 is on the horizon for the Browns, and I really don’t think they have the stones to pull it off, they’ll need to shit the bed against the Jets at home this week. And that bed is already filled with so much shit you’d think they’d be out of room by now. Last week: 32
