HBO’s Hard Knocks is the most popular and well-produced NFL television show that no team wants to be featured on. This is nothing new, but it took center stage recently when San Francisco 49ers general manager John Lynch made it known publicly that he would prefer it if his team wasn’t granted the honor.
“It’s not something we would be really excited about,” Lynch told a bay area NBC station. “I love the show, but I think some things are best left behind closed doors. I fundamentally have a problem with cutting players and things of that nature. It’s not something we’d be thrilled about.”
The 49ers want no part of Hard Knocks https://t.co/MrMtXp7nrt pic.twitter.com/a0AnlFLrFZ
— NBC Sports (@NBCSports) January 3, 2018
“Not thrilled about” isn’t exactly code words, is it? In a league where every team is trying to create any advantage it can, sometimes skirting against (or stepping over) what’s legal, having the award-winning cameras of NFL Films cover your entire draft and training camp is kind of a nightmare. Sure, it’s fun to watch when Hard Knocks cameras actually focus on the team’s stars over, say, a third string center with a love of stringer tanks, but it’s not as fun to be on. At least for coaches and front office personnel.
The players, with the exception of James Harrison when he was with the Cincinnati Bengals, seem to dig cameras in their faces all the time.
When the NFL brought back Hard Knocks, it knew this was a problem it’d have to overcome. They had to institute some new rules to force teams to agree to be showcased.
Here’s how a team can steer clear of Hard Knocks:
1. They just hired a new head coach.
This is pretty much the only savior for shitty teams that would be entertaining (and possibly on their way to a quick turn-around). This rule saved Andrew Luck from getting featured with the Indianapolis Colts this season. The Arizona Cardinals too.
2. They made the playoffs in the last two years
This rule keeps the legit NFL teams off the list almost in perpetuity. You’ll never see a team like the Pittsburgh Steelers or New England Patriots on Hard Knocks, even though they would easily be the most interesting squads.
3. They’ve been on the show in the past 10 years
Listen, nobody wants to see the Bengals on Hard Knocks again, even though they’re probably the one team that would volunteer to take the job. Only two teams, Cincy and the Dallas Cowboys, have ever been on the show twice. The Cowboys, at least, had the excuse of doing it in the second season and then six years later after it was brought back from cancellation. Trust that there was a reason the Cowboys and Jerry Jones were fine with doing the show in those two seasons, they sucked. They don’t suck anymore so you can forget about any return engagements from them.
Late For Work: Speculation continues around defensive coordinator opening, John Harbaugh in "high demand" and Ravens eligible for Hard Knocks.
📰: https://t.co/5lVRzjKUMu pic.twitter.com/ghjt9jnLAQ
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) January 3, 2018
With those rules in place, there are six teams that could be forced to allow NFL Films into their practices and meeting rooms for your pay cable enjoyment next season; the aforementioned 49ers, the Denver Broncos, the Cleveland Browns, the Los Angeles Chargers, the Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Redskins.
You can see why Lynch is worried. While the 49ers haven’t been great for the last few years, as an organization they’ve got tons of history and with Jimmy Garoppolo surging through the NFL in the final month of the season, this is a team on the upswing. If Hard Knocks doesn’t get the 49ers this time, they may not get the chance.
They’ve got a lot of good, young talent that doesn’t know to hate having cameras in their face all the time. This is a generation raised on Jersey Shore and shit like that. They Snap, Instagram and Facebook story everything in their lives. A camera there to document every piss they take is probably expected at this point.
Now, the 49ers could always be saved by a team volunteering to be on Hard Knocks, but, again, outside of Cincinnati, that’s not going to happen.
https://twitter.com/NBCSRedskins/status/948728193648857089
Are there any team on the mandatory participation list that might give NFL Films a compelling reason to usurp the 49ers’ spot?
First off, Hard Knocks wants a win here. Since the show returned in 2007 only four teams they’ve featured have made the playoffs that same season and two of them were the Bengals. The others was the 2015-16 Houston Texans who only slid into the postseason because somebody in the AFC had to be the sixth seed. The 2010-11 New York Jets actually made it all the way to the AFC Championship game.
Three head coaches have been fired in the same season their team was featured on Hard Knocks (Dave Campo of the Dallas Cowboys, Jeff Fisher with the Los Angeles Rams and Mike Smith with the Atlanta Falcons). Dirk Koetter of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, featured last season, should have been.
In fact, one of the recurring themes of Hard Knocks is how shitty the coaches are on these teams. Fisher, Campo and Smith all earned their inglorious cannings. Here’s the other coaches featured on the show; Brian Billick, Herm Edwards, Wade Phillips, Marvin Lewis (twice), Rex Ryan, Joe Philbin, Bill O’Brien and Koetter.
https://twitter.com/LacesOutShow/status/951827891771379712
Now, Phillips is a brilliant defensive coordinator, but the dude was a bad head coach. Ryan started out strong as a head man, but got too enamored with the smell of his own farts. Philbin? O’Brien? Koetter? Please. There’s a reason that Brian Billick has never been hired for any NFL coaching position again.
Edwards? I mean, did you see his Arizona Sun Devils press conference?
Marvin Lewis is the absolute jewel in the Hard Knocks crown, if you can believe it. He’s actually been on the show three times, the first as the defensive coordinator for the 2001 Baltimore Ravens in the first season. It’s insane that he’s the best coach ever featured on the show, but there you go.
Do they really want to train cameras on Hue Jackson, Jay Gruden, Vance Joseph or Anthony Lynn? John Harbaugh is a legitimately great head coach and would easily overtake Lewis as the best ever featured on the show. He’d also make it incredibly boring simply because he wouldn’t want to be on it.
https://twitter.com/SInow/status/907363177708638208
Nope, the 49ers are getting the call. Lynch might want to look for some good hiding places in the team facility.
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